Before you become a mom, you probably had some plan for motherhood. From the moment you make that baby registry, you have a vision in your mind of what the next 18 years (and beyond) will look like: daycare or nanny, work or stay-at-home, gentle or authoritative parenting, etc.
But the thing is, pivoting is probably one of the most underrated tools in a mom’s toolbox. If you’re a new mom realizing your plan isn’t exactly panning out or a more seasoned mom feeling like what you’re doing isn’t quite working, that’s normal. What you do with that realization can make all the difference for you and your family. Here’s why:
You Don’t Know Your Kids Before You Meet Them
This isn’t just referring to having a baby and holding them for the first time. You have a baby, and then you have a toddler, and then a big kid, tween and teen. Not only do you not know who your child is (or what their needs may be) before you meet them, but they will change over the years into different versions of themselves (with ever-changing needs). A baby who is content in daycare as a baby may struggle as a toddler. A diagnosis can even more dramatically change a child’s needs and a parent’s strategy.
You Haven’t Met Yourself as a Mom, Either
There are few things (if any) that allow you to grow, and change, more than becoming a parent. Until you’re in it, you don’t know how you’ll feel. You may have planned to be a stay-at-home mom but realize it’s not a good fit. You may envisioned yourself gentle parenting but realize that’s not working for you (or your kids, because you didn’t know them before – see above).
Your Family Circumstances Might Change
Certainly big changes like divorce or death will force a pivot in the way you parent. But even good changes—a big promotion for you or your partner, for instance—can change your plan for childcare, where you raise your kids, schooling, your work plan and more.
The World Isn’t Static Either
Ten years ago, remote work was rare at best and meant taking a payout at worst. In a post-COVID era? Hybrid and work-from-home are part of almost every workplace vernacular—and a win for moms looking for flexibility. In addition to the pandemic, AI is quickly changing our world in ways we are just beginning to see—and will most certainly affect the way we parent.
It’s clear that pivoting is part of parenting. Embracing it can allow you to do what’s right for you now as a parent and your family—not what you pictured before you were here, in this moment. Taking stock regularly and tweaking parts of your parenting isn’t giving up—and might be better than the original plan all along.
Related Stories on the Local Moms Network:
Daycare or Nanny? How to Choose For Your Family
