Amanda Vlastas of West University Moms
This story was shared by Amanda Vlastas of West University Moms.
Before my divorce, I hadn’t given much thought to how many of my local friends were connected to my marriage. Then the marriage ended, and the shape of my social life changed with it.
When we first moved to Houston, I had tons of friends, but they were scattered across the different cities I had lived in over the years. Locally, the women in my life were mostly the wives of my ex-husband’s coworkers. After the divorce, many of those relationships slowly faded. There was no dramatic falling-out, no choosing of sides. Some friendships belonged to a version of my life that no longer existed, and once I stepped outside of that life, I began to see how little of my local social world had truly been mine alone.
My married friends’ schedules were shaped around their husbands and family plans, while mine followed another rhythm entirely. At my children’s school, that difference felt especially visible. I was one of the only divorced moms, and I was often very aware that I was arriving alone. At school dinners, celebrations and family events, most parents walked in as couples while I came through the door by myself.
You expect divorce to change your home, your routines and the way your family moves through the world. What I hadn’t expected was how clearly it would reveal which parts of my life had been built around being part of a couple, and how much I would have to rebuild as simply myself.
I realized that if I wanted friendships and a sense of community, I was going to have to be intentional about creating them. I made meeting new people part of my daily routine.
I stopped waiting for friendship to happen naturally and began looking for small openings. At parks and children’s activities, I pushed past my instinct to keep to myself and talked to the other moms. If our children connected, we exchanged numbers and tried a playdate. Sometimes it quickly became clear that the mom and I had little in common, but even that was good practice. I became more comfortable reaching out and less discouraged when a connection didn’t click.
Sometimes those conversations became deeper. I often found an immediate understanding with other single moms because we shared some of the same experiences. Married moms would sometimes open up about challenges in their own relationships too. Motherhood became the common ground, even when the rest of our lives looked different.
West University Moms changed my social world in ways I never expected. My work brought me to events across the city, often alone, and although walking into a room where everyone seemed to know someone was uncomfortable, I kept saying yes. Every invitation felt like an opportunity to meet someone or feel more connected to Houston. I documented it all on Instagram, and people joked that watching my Stories made them dizzy because I was always doing something.
Showing up introduced me to people I never would have met otherwise. Some became close friends, while others became familiar faces, professional connections or part of a wider community. I learned that all of those relationships had value, but I also learned that building a full life didn’t mean filling every available moment. Eventually, I began leaving room for rest and time that belonged only to me.
Making friends as an adult, especially as a single mom, rarely happens effortlessly. It may require being the one who starts the conversation, exchanges numbers, suggests the playdate or walks into the event alone. It also means accepting that some attempts will lead to close friendships and others won’t go beyond a friendly conversation.
The biggest lesson for me has been that feeling awkward doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t belong. Sometimes it simply means you’re entering a new part of your life before it has had time to feel familiar.
My friendships did change after my divorce. Some faded, some grew stronger, and many new people entered my life because I made the effort to show up. Expanding my circle wasn’t about replacing old friends or collecting as many new ones as possible. It was about slowly building a community that fit the life I was actually living.
If you are a single mom trying to make new friends, start small. Talk to another mom at the park. Exchange numbers when your children connect. Attend the event even if you have to walk in alone. Follow up with the person you enjoyed talking to. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but sometimes the only way to find your people is to let yourself be seen.
Related Stories on the Local Moms Network:
7 Ways to Love Your Kid-Free Weekends as a Single Mom
Mom Friends: What You Want (and What You Don’t)
The Mom Friends Every Mom Needs in Her Life
Be sure to listen to Amanda’s interview on our Momcast podcast here!
